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April 09 Anxious in springIt's my nature to worry about every thing. I wonder if i can become apathy to most of the details that exist only for bothering people. Someone prefers to pray to god to get rid of a hardship; while, someone "prays" to their parents to have a comfortable life; and then, someone who prays nerver successes always in all.
I confess I'm not born a lucky person (thanks to god i'm not ugly in shape), but I have been always fighting. I look down upon those who have every thing but have done nothing. However these guys made me jealous. Until now, i have nearly all the factors to build a new life with fulfillment...caution : is it true?
I hate the feel that I'm always walking on a rope fixing at a level of 300m from the floor. I have constant fear of falling down. Although there is a sweet period of peace sometimes, it never makes me forget the extensive empty under me. That's why (perhaps) I detest riding roller coaster. When it goes downward, I have the impression of falling from the rope and to the hell.
Of course we can't know if we have a bitter of a bonus in future, at least there are 6 billions of human beings to be references to make you constantly happy or sad. January 28 January 1983, in an alleyway, sunny: Chapter VII of the nightTypewriter continues to push close to the next line of truth. The pipes’ fog goes with wind, approaching the withering tree : Silence cries to me in tears. Beside the road Baker in the circular square, On the arm of armor rider, His iris insignia is a little brilliant; Unmanned-horse cart rumbles, An evil visit of the late night in Victoria moonlight: The performance is on with red blood. Disappeared pistol, heavily burned crutch and melting wax statue. Who is not absent? Some false impression on the jewelry box. Contradictions go straight into the end of the road made by himself; Evidence was buried by the “perfect reality”.
Everyone lies for different reasons with a mask The motive has only one name called desire Across the marsh of human nature who really cannot be dirty Thus we can forget, we can forgive, but must know the truth
If evil is a gorgeous cruel movement I will write his end myself The light of dawn dries the last line of pain Black ink catches his sedateness November 16 November againMisic:"Nocturne" of "Chopin of November"
( -Hey, you are too old to show your teenage disconsolate
 -SHUT UP
 )Crowd of bloodthirsties ants are attracted by the spoiled meat
I look at the lonely scenery without any countenance Loses you, liking and hating start to be distinct Loses you, don't have any matter to care When the pigeon no longer symbolizes peace
I am finally reminded that In the squar it 's condors to be fed I use the attractive ryhme Describing the love plundered The dark cloud starts to camouflage, the lignt of night is unclean
In park funeral echo in everywhere flight The white rose i delivered you Is on the wane in the black The crow catchy is very peaceful on the branch
Calmly listens to my black coat Wants to warm you day after day ice-cold recollection Passes through life which passes through All around fills the air the mist
I'm in spacious tomb After dies of old age also loves you Chopin's nocturne for you
Commemorates love which I died With night of wind same sound Brokenhearted is very pleasant to hear The hand knocks in the keyboard very lightly
the missing i give is very careful The place where you bury calls the nether world Chopin's nocturne for you
Commemorates love which I died But I conceal identity for you Plays a stringed musical instrument under the moonlight To your palpitation induction
i'm still so familiar Fondly remembers you that bright red lip Those dragonflies broken the wings scatters in this forest But in my eyes not a little pity Loses your, tears are muddy Loses your, even my smiling has shadow The wind is being covered with the moss the roof Ridicules me the sadness as a dry well without water I use the beautiful but sad font To descript that love August 08 中国从申奥成功到现在，这么多年发生这么多事，到初起夜就为听萨马兰奇说北京这两个字的时候，怎么也没想到今天竟能在上海和一个这样爱我的男朋友，还有这样一大群朋友一起看开幕式。面对这样一群对中国感兴趣，来中国工作挣的远比他们本国少10倍的工资，自己还倒贴钱的外国人，真不知道他们对中国是什么样的感情。是真的对中国的巨大潜力感情兴趣，还是就是想来消耗青春顺便泡妞买便宜货的。至少我知道我男友的目的，呵呵，很简单，就是能夏天跟我在一块儿呗。
能今年夏天回国还不负一分钱确实幸运，但怎么还是没看到账户上宽裕些呀？我这挣一个肯定不花半个的人。就算不能先回北京，在外地说出去本人是北京人也是多少值得自豪的事，当然还是因为奥运。但就是不明白怎么外地人那么趋之若鹜的要去北京看奥运，而我却无所谓。可能对能回中国感觉气氛已经很知足了吧。
中国有多少工程师 建筑师 高级管理人员 能力齐全的志愿者 在有条不紊的支撑着这个展示给全世界人看的骨架，还有多少庸民崇洋媚外地等着看热闹凑热闹，甚至刻苦的为上车排队克制着自己素质低下的本性。总之，外国人不来的话永远想象不到中国人的生活水平，永远不服是这样一个共产主义国家办奥运；中国人不出去的话永远想象不到自己早已超过外国很多发达国家居民的生活水平，还在那羡慕人家国外怎么怎么着。而我，不从职业病角度去观察中国，也不会为中国的长远发展忧虑。
今天，无疑，所有的中国人肯定都自豪中国百年的惊人转变，觉得中国能凭借工业上的优势成为世界各国想合作的香馍馍。有多少平民能看到中国工业中那巨大的漏洞，其实不是能靠着他们日夜关注的某个明星，某个性感的工作（例如广告，传媒，酒店老董，服装设计。。。）就能填补起来的。漏洞说白了，能源方面，在各工业大国核电站早就成体系的时候，中国95%的电能还靠热电站：在说的简单一点，如今在发展的道路上，别人早就干干净净的鼓弄原子核发电的时候，中国人还在亲亲苦苦的在土窑里烧煤。外面儿上那灯亮的都好看，背地里的过程完全不同。产业结构方面，多少外企的公司里在中国只有workshop，没有design office，中国人照龙画虎外表再像，没有坚实的工业功底一是一二是二的工业流程，那东西还是不strong，保修期怎么也不敢多说。法律条文的不健全，标准定的不明确，给“聪明”的中国人都开了绿灯钻了空子。。。（待续，吃饭去）
April 24 mon amour la France devient ridiguleCa fût un temps que les français boycottent les JO de Pékin. Ca me donne vraiment un leçon sur plusieures choses.
J'ai compris maintenant que les français sont les moutons en effet. La plupart des gens sont très peu éduqués comme il faut, et tout comme la plupart des chinois, la différence est que les français sont plus violents, plus têtus, et plus chauvins. Il y a encore plein de français qui croient que la première et deuxième guerre mondiale,où les chinois sont fait tappés (comme toujour), n'a rien fait sur l'économie chinoise, et que les français ont donné de technologie aux chinois par leurs bonté
 : rien à dire, respect pour leur french esprit.La mentalité sur cette planête est totalement manipulée par le média. Et le média, donc les hommes, est capable de dire la contraire d'une réalité en blessant 1/6 de poplation sur la terre, sans avoir aucun replie sur soi-même. Imaginons qu'un jour, il y a quelqun que t'es toujour gentil avec, jamain lui fait de mal, il dit plein de mensonges sur toi pour ruiner toute ta réputation : ça craint. Mais ça arrive, tout comme j'ai vécu maintenant. Réfléchissons de sa motivation, jalousie? peur?
Bon, mon amour est un français quend même, et j'ai vécu en france depuis 6 ans. C'est parce que j'adore ce pays, pour la France, j'ai plein d'amour. J'en souci donc de l'avenir de France. Avec les jeunes qui travaillent pas trop, le chauvisme français, l'esprit extrêmement fermé sur certaines choses, le mépris sur les gens qui leur rattrapent, la France avancera pas vite comme ça. Et c'est le moment où la France a trouvé qu'ils ont passé tout leur temps pour boycotter les autres, au lieu d'améliorer elle même pour battre leur ennemie économique, que les français vont être regretés.
(les gens qui sont jamais allés en Chine et veulent juger la Chine ne sont pas les bienvenus pour laisser de commentaires sur cet artcle!!!)
February 25 so longSo long I haven't given my news except some pictures. I'm sure that you would say that's because all goes well for me, so nothing to be worried...not really, but almost
 hey, it's my turn now, after the destructive weather of a total year.It's the first time that I spent 3 months to fall in love. Normally I need less than one month. Now it seems like a soup well prepared, with all kinds of cares. I have really taken my time to conform, to identify, to choose and to decide.
So the first day of the second term, the 28th Jan, my bf had successfully moved in Paris and went to school together with me; my birthday, Saint Valentine's Day, and so on...
Heretofore, I experience a mature man who cares of me with his pure-hearted arms when he strains me to his breast...well, nothing is sure, a shot intermezzo, or a complet movement, nobody knows.
October 14 New lifeI didn't lose my heart, 'cause my new life goes well in paris.
 don't worry for me (for the freinds who complain about the absence of my news
 ), i have a blue sky everyday. busy now, i'm going to tip new pictures in several days. kiss to those who love me.  thank you for u...July 21 summer's going bangtomorrow, i'am going to move to my father's, because it's very close to the finess centre where i'll be everyday, also close to my favorite "Beijing Roast duck" restauraut, to my friends of 12 years...to all i know well.
the party with some old old friends is always too high, even though only 2 or 3 persons. with them i can keep talking 2 hours, old and new sucessive jokes, that they are always faithful audiences. a series of interesting events, memory of our junior middle school, make me still lauph in subway when coming back to home: a real fool i seem like. thinking of earlier years, i was really a "eminent" person in school,excellent student for teachers, classe monitor, the host of the school's TV, cause disturbance in class, or lead the others to break glass to cross over the window...but now i prefer to keep silent and be submerged in society.
without boys and work, my summer is so pretty. July 05 love todayreally well i feel. the smell of my home, the touche of my bed, my favorite manga:my total series Ranma 1/2...
i can always find something to do everyday, or i go to the building beside, play with my 2 lovely nephews (Num one and Num two, i cant remember their names which are very similar one to the other).
althought i dont often be in bar, at home, play piano for a while, watch chinese tv, draw my "biaude", open my photo album and see how fat i was when i was 3 years...it's also pleasant, and a refrigerator full of my favorites that i havent eaten for long...only some happynesse. June 23 vide avant les vacancesplus rien a faire. ya plus plein de boulot reste a faire, mais on cherche qqch a faire pour ne pas mourire comme un statu.
je me rappelle qu'un ami avait une copine qu'il n'aime pas du tout, il m'a dit c'est pas grave, quend tu te sens vide ou quend t'as pas de moral, t'as tjrs qqun a penser et t'as tjrs un petit message chaleureux a envoyer. c'est vrai. comme mtn j'ai personne a penser et je ne suis amoureuse de personne, quend je me sens vide, c'est vide totale. comme la vie n'a plus de sens, je n'ai plus de valeur.
c'est normal que dans une vie ya des moments vides comme ca. de plus on est grandi, de moins on aime la vie. avant c'est vrai que lorsqu'on est en proie a une passion d'adolescent, on a tendance a s'attacher sur les qualites superficielles des personnes. toutefois en murissant, on exerce davantage ses facultes de perception pour qqch de profond. avant souvent ya plusieurs personnes attireront mon attention. mtn, meme les beux je suis plus interessee, car les humains resemblent tous des simples mamiferes, une tete, un corps, les jambes...rien de special.
sur un livre philo on dit "bcp de jeunes gens qui se frequentent ne regardent pas plus loin que les apparences. ils se focalisent vite sur les choses quils ont en commun 'on aime la meme musique','on est d'accord sur tout'. ce pendant si vous avez vraiment passe la fleur de la jeunesse, vous ne vous en tiendrez pas aux aspects superficiels. par exemple, au lieu de vous extasier d'etre d'accord sur tant de choses, il serait plus revelateur de noter ce qui se passe quand vous n'etes pas d'accord." reste a mieux comprendre ces phrases apres pleins d'experiences difficiles je cr.
en gros, j'ai l'impression que j'ai pas du tout grandi depuis mon premier amour a 13ans. nimporte comment je manipule les choses, je reste tjrs la meme. ca ma trop soule. aujourd'hui, une beaute est certainement pas une bonne chose, pas un seul personne arrive d'avoir un moral bien droit, or est absoluement digne de confiance...
quend tout est inverse, noir n'est plus noir, blanc n'est plus blanc, on vit comme des souris : vivoter. June 15 Boulevard of Broken DreamsWhat is the difference between girls aged 8, 18, 28, 38, and 48, 58 and 68?At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story |
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